WoW! A Love Story
by Kohlomere
Summary: She was a prep from Austin and he was a renegade from Baltimore. Whatever could become of the two's casual friendship on World of Warcraft?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One-Scarlett meets White

Disclaimer: We wish we owned Blizzard (Because we'd have the Burning Crusade by now).

Warning: When players log into this game, they are transported into the game, like hacksign.

* * *

They met as noobs. Alice and her imp Quazzlebubbeee delighted in killing innocent critters such as bunny rabbits, cows and their personal favorites, little lambs. Derek saw her, a vision in burgundy robes, slaughter a helpless kobold, its' last words "No take candle!"

In shock, he typed, "What R U doin?" as he desperately tried to revive the lost kobold.

As the priest performed CPR, Alice (aka Shaddowzz) typed "Eww, it'll come back in a couple of minutes-noob."

"But it was the principle of it-Live, Mr. Fuzzball! Live, I say!" Derek (aka PopeMercutio) cried in vain.

"Oh…" Alice typed, "You're one of those freaks from Australia that believes in gun control."

"Damn it, I'm from Baltimore-why does every other person say that to me?"

"Beats me-oh, maybe because you're a whimpy noob!"

"Well, uh, you're a noob too, you stinky heartless level one!"

"For your information I also have a level 60."

"I bet it's your big brother's."

Derek would not normally be so aggressive, but whenever people were so holier-than-thou, he just lost his mind!

"You sexist bastard!"

Derek didn't have anything against women either, this girl just excited him and made him say things he didn't mean.

Before he could apologize, Alice yelled "This son of bitch PopeMercutio thinks girls can't play video games!"

"I never said-"

Too late, all of the female, or at least the characters that appeared to have mammary glands, gathered around him. All at once, they challenged to duels. Some mocked him by flapping their wings in an act in the semblance of a chicken.

"I didn't say that, Shaddowzz is twisting my words, I didn't want to offend anybody."

At once, everybody walked away, muttering something or another about whimpy Australians.

Derek was so embarrassed that he logged off and did not show his face for several days. Alice played like a maniac, sometimes getting four hours of sleep each night. It was one fateful day that they would meet, in Stormwind…


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two-Rendezvous at Stormwind

As you know, Derek (aka PopeMercutio) is a renegade from Baltimore that has soft heart and a fondness for animals, small white kittens chief among all. While Alice (aka Shaddowzz) is a gentle little girl in Austin that in truth is a lesser saint than Derek, but who cares, she has much better armor and minions.

It was a Tuesday afternoon that the two were so unfortunate as to meet again. By this time Alice was a level 12 whilst Derek was a mere level 9. Upon seeing him still wearing his neophyte's robes, Alice laughed at him.

"LOL, they drop better stuff in Westfall, perhaps I should escort you there to find something more suitable. Providing of course, you don't get yourself killed in the process-or wait, I could get that stuff first, and sell it for a profit."

Derek typed, "Won't you please take me there? I just can't find the way and all my friends laugh at me when I ask them for help. I'll be so grateful."

"ROTFLOL! No way in hell will I take a stupid Aussie with me to Westfall, you'll die in five seconds anyway."

At this Derek fell on his knees, "Please oh Please, take me to Westfall, Elwynn Forest has nothing to offer me. I'll pay you!"

"You never know what to say to a woman. But no, I don't travel with priests."

"But I'm a pope!"

"Don't care."

In a panic, Derek typed, "/f"

After a few steps, Alice realized Derek was following her. Experienced a player as she was she could not figure out how to shake him off.

"Look leave me alone!" she stamped into the keyboard, "I don't like you."

And just to piss her off even more, Derek blew her a kiss.

"ARGGHHH! RABIES! THAT IS IT!"

With a decisive click of the mouse, Alice exited out of World of Warcraft. While she was swearing under her breath, Derek congratulated himself on a job well done. But he had to wonder how the hell was going to get out of the forest and into some real world.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three-Morte de Meow Mix

Three days later, Alice (aka Shaddowzz) logs and makes her way to Westfall, unaware of the fact that just behind her was Derek (aka PopeMercutio). When she came to Goldshire, Alice thought she saw a strange white kitten following her.

"Whose cat?" she called.

Well, I know I didn't buy one, she thought, but continued on her way.

Phew, she didn't catch me. I'll have to be more careful from now on, you too Meow Mix! Derek thought as he tip toed from tree to tree, careful to stay out of sight.

Then Derek read something some thing sounded like, "MURLOCKS!!!"

"Run Meow Mix, RUN!" he cried.

As they desperately ran for their asses, they passed none other than Shaddowzz.

"LOL! You are a freakin' queer Aussie, that's a level seven, even you can take it."

Slapping her knees in cruel humor, Shaddowzz glanced over her shoulder to see a full tribe of murlocks, speeding toward her own behind. She had but one choice – "RUNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!"

Side by side, Derek and Alice run, Meow Mix succumbing to the Murlocks. Not satisfied by the lean little kitten, the monsters continued to their chase. The Stormwind Guards hear their pitifuls pleas for help and go to help. They got there just as Derek charged the murlocks, bellowing, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! MEOW MIX, I WILL AVENGE THEE!"

Alice watched him go farther and farther away and yelled, "DAMNIT AUSSIE, THOSE ARE LEVEL 12S-YOU'RE GOING TO DIE! OH YOU ARE AN IDIOT!"

And she follows, sure of their untimely demise. Seconds later, all is white.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four-Can She Rez Meow Mix?

"Shaddowzz…Shaddowzz, where are you?" Derek calls.

"Damnit, Aussie, I'm right here in the graveyard."

"Where's that?"

"You're in it! OMG you are such a noob!"

"Ohh…I see you, you'll all pale and transparent, like a ghost."

"Of course I am, you are too. We're dead!"

"How do we get our bodies back?"

From behind their characters, the Angel of Death floats silently. Alice targets the Angel and types in "/rude"

"What'd she ever do to you?"

"Talk to her and get her to rez you."

"Rez?"

"Ressurect! She's here to bring idiots you retarded Aussies back to life!"

"That's great, can she rez my cat too?"

"ARGHHHHHHHH! That's it, I'm leaving. I can't take any more of the stupidity!"

With another rude gesture, this time directed at Derek, Alice leaves.

"Wait! What about Meow Mix?"


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five-Enter Demetriss and Sambaa

A few days later, Alice logged on, found Shaddowzz's corpse and resurrected on the spot. Only, the corpse of PopeMercutio was nowhere to be seen.

Huh, that's funny, perhaps the noob got smart and rezzed, Alice thought, but shrugged and went on to the Westbrook Garrison. There she got a quest that entailed the annihilation of some riverpaw gnolls.

The quest itself was simple, kill a few gnolls and report back to the Garrison. Alice was nearly finished when a truly despicable monster came onto the scene- Hoggar!

Being a puny level 12, Shadowzz screamed and ran from the elite. Only, it was too late, he had set his sight on her and would kill her at all costs! Many other gnolls joined in on the hunt for warlock blood.

When who should arrive on the scene but PopeMercutio (aka Derek)? Decked in new and improved armor, Derek runs to her rescue. And as the gnolls hacked away at his health, miraculously, he healed when at the brink of death! In sheer amazement, Shaddowzz looks to her left to see a green haired, tall, slim, comely night elf druid.

Once all the attacking gnolls bite the bullet, PopeMercutio heals Shaddowzz.

"Long time no see, milady."

"Derek, you are awesome, I never have seen a level 14 fight light that, with such virility, such fervor-oh it's enough to make a night elf swoon!" exclaimed the green haired beauty.

Without wasting a second, Alice typed, "WTF?" and stalked off into the trees toward the river. Out of her backpack, she brought out a little cat carrier. The Siamese inside mewled at her pitifully as if sensing the pain in her heart.

Back in the gnoll camp, the green haired beautiful fumed, "How rude, we charge to her rescue and she doesn't thank us or even give us her name!"

"Ahh, don't worry about it, Demetriss," Derek typed, "Shaddowzz just doesn't deal well with people."

"So you know her?"

"Ya, I made a fool of myself back in Northshire Abbey in front of her and she hasn't exactly let me live it down."

There is a subtle clink and Derek typed, "Oh, Sambaa's on, let's invite him to do something."

With a whoosh, Sambaa, a level 24 gnome warrior, appears and chirps, "Hey guys, let's run Deadmines!"

So they run the dungeon and after a few fatal mishaps, Derek and the others manage to subdue Cookie. As it was his turn to loot, Derek is rather surprised when he should receive a Siamese kitten.

"Aww, she's precious!" Demetriss squeals as they hearthstone home.

"Yes she is-Peekaboo!" another girl agrees.

"Wait until Shaddowzz sees that I've got another cat- and from a murlock!" Derek types.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six-The Repair Bill…More Than We Would Care to Say

A/N: I and my co writer have jumped off of Teldrassil many a time and once my repair bill totaled a grand sum of gold. Trust us, it ain't worth it.

Lonely, as she was prone to be these days when playing in the popular realm Perenolde, Alice steered her character to the highest branch of Teldrassil. This was it, her gaming life wasn't worth living. As she angled her camera to see if there was anything that might cushion her fall, she heard a voice scream, "What are you doing?"

Hanging her head, Shaddowzz walks off of the limb. She turns at the last moment to see a priest above her.

Damn, she thought, the priests don't waste anytime.

"THE REPAIR BILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" the priest roars.

WTF? She thought, the pope comes? I'm a warlock for Christ's sake!

PopeMercutio reaches to her and as they hit the water, he makes on last attempt, nearly reaching her arm. Just then they die only to pop up in the graveyard.

Wordlessly, PopeMercutio shakes his head before resurrecting. Now in corporal form, the priest falls to his knees, his palms raised to the heavens, and cries, "THE REPAIR BILL!!!" in utter agony.

As soon as he finishes, a little kitten mews with fright from one of Shaddowzz's bags.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven- To Join a Guild

Shaddowzz rushes to her bag to console the kitten.

Upon seeing the kitten, PopeMercutio turns to Shaddowzz and asks, "Oh, you got one too? I got mine the other day in the Deadmines-from a murlock of all things. Anyway, I named her Saturn. What'd you name her?"

She turns to him with a sad expression on her face, "I really haven't named him yet."

In the grass at their feet, the two kittens play fight. Saturn bites the other's ear and the victim lets out a heart wrenching howl. Shaddowzz swoops down upon the kitten and rushes to bandage the wound.

With a subtle click, Demetriss comes on line and PopeMercutio gets the bright idea that Shaddowzz should join their guild.

"Hey, you ought to join our guild."

In a lame attempt to regain her self composure and tough image, Shaddowzz replies, "Sure, whatever."

"Great! We're kind of small right now, but we're going to get bigger. Hey, come with me to Stormwind and you can meet our GM and we'll set you up with a tabard and stuff."

Back in Stormwind, Demetriss and Sambaa wait by the fountain to meet the prospective guild member.

"So, what class did PopeMercutio say she'd be?" Sambaa asked Demetriss.

"She's like a warlock or something," Demetriss answered and added, "I totally hope she isn't that girl from the other day."

"What happened?"

"Well, the other day, me and PopeMercutio were walking around the other day trying to finish some quest and seeing she was in trouble went to help her and all. Well, she went like ballistic on us before stalking off in a big huff. I think she likes Pope."

"Does he like her?"

"Well, he's like oblivious to her as usual."

"Ohhh…"

Just then, PopeMercutio walks up to the group with Shaddowzz in tow.

"OMG! Like not happening Pope!"


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight-Induction

"Come on Demi! She's not that bad once you get to know her." PopeMercutio wheedled.

"Epic Warriors of Gold doesn't need rabble like her!" Demi retorted.

"Come on Demi! Just give her a try! Please, she's all sad and stuff and I want her to be happy!"

Upon hearing this, Shaddowzz slapped Pope upside the head and screamed, "I am not sad and stuff!"

"Excuse me, you just tried to jump off of Teldrassil!"

"It's just a game!"

"Yea, but my repair bill is like heck because of you. Now you are going to join this guild and pay me back!"

With her eyes gleaming, Demetriss pipes back into the conversation, "What? What? She jumped off of Teldrassil, willingly? And you went after her Pope? Well, if it had been me I would have pushed her off and danced as she hit the water."

All look at Demetriss and Shaddowzz turns a shade of red to match her scarlet robes and challenges the night elf to a duel.

Before Demetriss can accept, Sambaa boots in and yells, "We are not gonna have this here. Demi, give her the blasted invitation or else that make up bag of yours is gonna go missing."

"Not my makeup, I need that stuff!"

"DEMI!"

With a sigh, Demetriss reluctantly invites the warlock. Eager to annoy the druid further, Shaddowzz accepts.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine-Demi Comes Full Circle

Months pass and after a while, the group reaches level 60 and their guild grows. Demetriss and Shaddowzz become for the most part civil in their relationship. But there were moments when Sambaa had to be most persuasive.

One night, the guild ran a gnarly dungeon. And for the first time down Onyxia's Lair, they received a lot of really good loot, some of which Demetriss and Shaddowzz really liked and needed. Which was why, when one of their more aloof guild members ninja-looted it all, they were made extremely angry. Then, Demetriss and Shaddowzz put aside their many differences long enough to beat the shicaccas out of the rogue member. With fond words of farewell, the guild disbanded for the night.

_Log Out_

The next morning Sahar (aka Demetriss) woke up for school in Austin, Texas. Little did she know, Sahar was in for a most unusual surprise. Nothing that morning was out of the ordinary for the half-Arabian beauty until one of her friends brought a classmate of theirs to lunch that none of them knew particularly well.

"So this is Alice," the more outgoing member of Sahar's clique stated, "she has like a totally wicked Xanga and is like a whiz with the computer."

In a half-hearted attempt at friendliness, Sahar inquired, "So do you play online games or anything?"

"World of Warcraft, you?" Alice smiles, pleased to have made contact with the Asian elite.

"That's cool. So like a couple months ago you were all emo and stuff. What happened?" one ditzy girl with peroxide blonde hair asked.

"Err…I met this guy over the internet-"

"That's dangerous!" the said blond squealed.

"Clam it, Nirali, let her finish." Sahar ordered, truly interested in what the newcomer had to say.

With an uncertain smile, Alice continued, "Well, this guy I met is pretty nice, but he's sort of an idiot."

"That doesn't tell us much, does he have a name?' the outgoing member asked.

"Well, I don't know his real name, but his screen name is PopeMercutio."

At this, Sahar dropped her fork in astonishment and prompted Alice for more information, "So what's your screen name?"

"Shaddowzz."

"So do you like this guy?"

"_Huh?"_


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten-Aussies: On Your Server?

"Look Sambaa, we have to get these two together." Demi whined.

"I don't know, it could be dangerous, I know Pope's awesome and everything but…" Sambaa replied reluctantly.

"Oh come on, Pope is such an oblivious idiot he wouldn't know danger if it bit him in the ass."

"That's what I mean, it could be like a front."

From behind, Pope pops up behind the two, "Hey, what's up?"

The two schemers jump in surprise and tried to deceive him. And being the oblivious idiot he was, PopeMercutio believed them.

Sambaa was quick to stutter, "Nothing, we had been discussing the new dungeons we could run, I need just one more piece to my epic set."

"So, Pope, where exactly in down under do you live?" Demetriss slyly asks.

"FOR GOODNESS SAKES!!" PopeMercutio cried with his balled fists shaking and burning eyes, "I AM NOT AN AUSSIE! I LIVE IN BALTIMORE DARN IT."

"You mean like USA Baltimore?" Demetriss probed.

"Is there any other stinkin' Baltimore?"

"Who knows, but you do live in the US?"

"I wouldn't be using this server if I wasn't."

Sambaa pipes in at this point, "Well, I for one do live in Australia and I as a matter a fact do use this server."

Demetriss and PopeMercutio stare at the gnome with slack jaws and exclaim, "There are actually Aussies on this server?"


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven G-CON

"Hey, Alice, you going to the big gaming convention in New York, you going?" Sahar asked her friend before school one day.

"What WoW fanatic would I be if I didn't? I hear that they're giving away flying mounts and some other really sweet stuff." Alice laughed.

(CA/N: I really really want one.)

"So your parents coming with you?"

"Nahh, they'd sooner die that go to a gaming convention with a bunch of kids."

"Splendid."

As Alice walks off to her first period, Sahar lets out an evil laugh, "Perfect."

_Log In._

While waiting for Sambaa and Shaddowzz, Demetriss asks PopeMercutio, "So, you going to the gaming convention in NYC?"

"I am, but the others aren't and they're pretty down about it. Let's not talk about so not to upset them." Demetriss persuaded her guild mate.

"Right."

Two birds with one stone- Sweet! Go Demi, it's your birthday, we gonna party like it's 1999! Sahar squealed to herself.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve- Rendezvous at NYC

Airport 12:30 PM

Alice and Sahar walked off of the jet feeling just a little dizzy.

"I never want to fly again, I hate the way those damn flight attends were staring at my scarf!" Sahar hissed at Alice.

"I know, they were total bitches! Let's go get our stuff and check into the hotel."

"Well, I promised to meet some family on the Upper East Side, why don't you go on and like catch a nap and I'll meet you for dinner at the hotel restaurant like at 7:30? Tell them you're there for the Salaam reservation, Kay?"

After escorting Alice to the taxi port, Sahar rushes to the Greyhound station to wait for Derek. Much to her surprise, the young man who walks off of the truck was not as unfortunate looking as his character on World of Warcraft. In fact, he was actually kind of _hawt _with dark skin, wavy brown hair and seafoam green eyes. The only thing wrong with him was the dorky sign he was carrying and the fact he was yelling, "Sahar! SAHAR!!!" into the crowd.

"Damnit! Shut up you idiot!"

Derek turned to look down at the petit Arab, "You Sahar?"

"Duh!"

"All right then, nice to meet you in person! I'm Derek Long, do you have a last name Sahar?"

"Sahar Salaam, now if you will please move your ass before we attract any more embarrassing attention?"

As they take the subway to their hotel, Sahar turns to Derek, "Now at 7:30 meet me at the hotel restaurant, ask for the Salaam reservation and they'll take you right to us, kay?"

"Ya."


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Twelve- Rendezvous at NYC

Airport 12:30 PM

Alice and Sahar walked off of the jet feeling just a little dizzy.

"I never want to fly again, I hate the way those damn flight attends were staring at my scarf!" Sahar hissed at Alice.

"I know, they were total bitches! Let's go get our stuff and check into the hotel."

"Well, I promised to meet some family on the Upper East Side, why don't you go on and like catch a nap and I'll meet you for dinner at the hotel restaurant like at 7:30? Tell them you're there for the Salaam reservation, Kay?"

After escorting Alice to the taxi port, Sahar rushes to the Greyhound station to wait for Derek. Much to her surprise, the young man who walks off of the truck was not as unfortunate looking as his character on World of Warcraft. In fact, he was actually kind of _hawt _with dark skin, wavy brown hair and seafoam green eyes. The only thing wrong with him was the dorky sign he was carrying and the fact he was yelling, "Sahar! SAHAR!!!" into the crowd.

"Damnit! Shut up you idiot!"

Derek turned to look down at the petit Arab, "You Sahar?"

"Duh!"

"All right then, nice to meet you in person! I'm Derek Long, do you have a last name Sahar?"

"Sahar Salaam, now if you will please move your ass before we attract any more embarrassing attention?"

As they take the subway to their hotel, Sahar turns to Derek, "Now at 7:30 meet me at the hotel restaurant, ask for the Salaam reservation and they'll take you right to us, kay?"

"Ya."


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen-The Balcony Scene

As the hotel elevator ascended to her ninth story suite, Alice dried her eyes, for what she thought would be the very last time. She was going to jump. A bell rang and the doors of the elevator parted for the girl. The light in her eyes long gone, she made a beeline for the room and went straight through to the balcony. Elegant wrought iron railing made it difficult for her to climb over but her small, nimble feet were up to the task.

For moments, she lingered, looking down at the street full of racing cars and busy people. Reflecting on her life, she was almost hesitant to go, was she afraid? Though her fingers loosened their hold on the rail, her heart was pounding. But before gravity could take its hold, she felt two strong hands wrap around her arm.

"I'm sorry, I do love you!"

Alice looked up with red, teary eyes, "No you don't Derek."

"But I do!"

"You're just saying that so I won't kill myself."

"Why won't you believe me?"

"Because you're an idiot and I hate you! When we first met I thought you were a big fat jerk but that day you saved me from Hoggar changed me. It felt like, like I had a real friend. But it was when you tried to stop me from dropping off of Teldrassil, did I realize that I loved you. And though I knew you like Sahar better I never stopped hoping that maybe you like me back. And now that I'm finally confessing my love for you, you give me the brush off!"

"I know, I'm a stupid, idiotic jerk. I don't learn things fast, but I do love you and know that you have to believe me!"

"It's all about you isn't it? You don't care about me!"

Though she struggled to free her arm, Derek held fast. Exhausted at last by the drama and the wear and tear on her hanging arm, Alice was eventually pulled from the balcony by Derek.

"You big stupid jerk, why don't you let me go?"

"Because I love you!"

Alice dropped her head on his shoulder, sobbing heavily. Awkwardly patting her head, Derek reminded her, "You can't rez once you fall in this world, you know."


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen-The Epilogue

Four years later, after the group graduated high school and finished their junior year in college, Alice and Derek were wed in the Cathedral of Light of Stormwind City. They had gone to great pains to gather as many players and well-wishers as possible. Sambaa stood as Derek's Best Man and Demetriss the Maid of Honor with the CEOs of Blizzard in attendance.

A few years later, Derek and Alice had a daughter, named Demetriss, and a son named Sambaa after their best friends. Those children watched their parents play World of Warcraft and grew up to play the game themselves forming their own guilds with the hopes of finding their own true love, sans the balcony scene.


End file.
